Death, an experience
This is a possible explanation why we don’t know what happens after we die, and what Death may be like when we do.
As with any experience you have in your life, you don’t know what that experience is truly like until you actually experience it. Some experiences are easy to imagine, while others are impossible. On the benign side of the spectrum there are experiences that result in barely noticeable shifts in our consciousness, while on the wild side of the spectrum are life altering experiences that change our outlook in such a way, we are never the same.
On that wild side of the spectrum we are called to take on a new identity, and release the old.
Experience does just that: it helps you to release again and again who you were in the moments just before it. Otherwise we can get stuck, like on the woodsy bank of the river, and need to find our way back into the center where the flow is more fun and adventurous.
Death is just beyond the wildest side of the spectrum.
Death is the ultimate experience that for certain will shift your identity and release you from the old.
And no one on Earth knows exactly what happens afterwards! Ahhhhhhh!
At least we have examples of people who are on the other side of wild experiences that we can draw our imagination from (of course that pales in comparison of actually experiencing it for ourselves.) But, there is a perceived commonality what it is like to have an illness, go through a war, go through a divorce, win the lottery… All the major life events humans can have, have some kind of perception of what the aftermath of them could be like.
But death? Nothing. It is truly the one life event we can’t read about in someone else’s experience, except maybe near-death experiences, but they all end at a certain point, which is why they are called “near” death. And what is beyond that point, no one living knows.
Thousands if not millions of different theories and beliefs exist to resonate with, or not resonate with, but in the end, it is the greatest and most fascinating mystery in life. (And perhaps in death too?)
I like to look at preparation for the biggest event in our lives like this: When I go through a major life event where I am forever changed, do I come out of it more compassionate and curious? Or do I become more fearful, closed down, stuck… Do I allow the death of my past outlook to leave gracefully? Or do I hold on to that identity even though I know deep down it no longer fits. Am I afraid to change? Or am I curious about what this new life is like for me?
I like to think that how we experience the “deaths” in our living experience is how we are going to experience actual death.
And although I have no idea what it is like after we die, I do know that the more present I am in this life, the more likely I am to expand into someone that is more curious, compassionate and wise, which I find to be a fun state of being.
Even in the ugliest, angriest, crying fest, stomping my feet in “I can’t stand this any more!!” moments… if I am present and observing them as well as participating in them… difficult experiences are worthwhile and I always come out in a better place than when I went in. But if I am checked out, distracted, and escaping my difficult experiences, that’s okay too, I can only do what I can in the moment, I’m just hanging out on the bank of the river rather than flowing down it, but the opportunity to let go back into the rivers flow is Always there. And sometimes, I just need to hang out on the side distracting myself and escaping into ice cream and good sci-fi.
One thing is certain though, I am more of myself after I go through and heal from major life experiences. And I like that thought of death too: that perhaps after that major transformation, to whatever it is, you will be more of who you really are than who you were before. And that thought is comforting, isn’t it?
WISDOM WITHIN CREATIVITY
Kellyjoy Kanaley has spent over 18 years studying and practicing psychotherapy and over 25 years practicing meditation and engaging with plant medicine. To schedule a consultation please click here.